Something New

I’ve been married a year, have a honeymoon baby, have had major surgery, and have generally just been through a lot in the past year. I’m also taking a time out from the “Americans”, aka my side of the family. If I had money I would totally be in counseling, just because this is all a little overwhelming! It’s overwhelming but worth it.

So because I am doing so many new things, I plan on doing some more! I have a couple of goals for my life- to be debt free and to never use birth control, especially hormonal birth control. So I plan on getting a hold of Dave Ramsey’s materials as much a I can for free for now, and I’ve already started down the path of NFP.

There are many reasons to eschew birth control, and you don’t need to be Catholic to understand them. First of all, birth control can and does prevent the implantation of a new little human being. When sperm and egg meet, that’s a whole new set of DNA in a whole new person. Yes, implantation can fail to occur naturally, but old people can die naturally as well. If I wouldn’t off my grandpa before he does naturally, why would I actively take something that could kill my little one before I know of his/her existence?

Another thing to consider is the sheer amount of hormones we consume everyday. Our milk, eggs, meat- especially chicken are laced with hormones. I’m not a total organic nut who thinks gluten is waiting to kill us all, but I do believe that all of these artificial hormones are changing humans for the worse. So if I try, even with my very limited funds, to buy local and organic, why should I then turn around and pop a pill loaded with hormones?

The birth control pill ups your chance of cancer, particularly breast cancer. It also suppresses a woman’s natural cycle, instead of working with your body. It can cause weight gain, mood issues, and ironically it can lower your libido. Studies have even found that it can influence women to be more inclined to seek out mates who are sub-par. Long term use if the pill can wreak havoc on a woman’s fertility, so when she DOES want children it can be very difficult to conceive.

Natural Family Planning involves no hormones. It does involve knowing your body, being aware, and learning a little science. It is a lot of work, and it involves math, something I hate. It is NOT the “rhythm method”. It’s not even just one method. I’m stating with the sympto-thermal method, which is great for women who may have irregular cycles. Not only can I avoid another child for a little while (which would be wise, considering what my body has been put through, not to mention the finances) I can also plan for another child. The information I gather on myself can even help me to see if I have a thyroid problem. It can certainly make my ob-gyn’s job much easier.

I have had friends tell me to “at least use a condom!”. The truth is, I hate the idea of condoms. I want to feel as connected as I can to my husband, and sex is not just a fun activity. It’s incredibly intimate and even spiritual. Hospitals encourage skin to skin contact for mother and child- why not between husband and wife? And this sounds vulgar, but if I wanted to use something plastic to get pleasure there is a sex shop nearby that has an entire wall of synthetic devices for just that. Using a condom during sex makes as much sense to me as insisting that everybody keep their clothes on during sex (those people do exist, and no, it’s not a fetish for some of them.)

Could I still have an “unintended” pregnancy? Yes, although the chance is low. Unintended or not, my husband and I will welcome every one of our children. But similar things happen with birth control. If they didn’t you wouldn’t be reading my blog. Honestly, i wouldnt mind having another child very soon, but we have quite a few things we need to get in order first.

I am slowly falling in love with NFP. I much prefer a philosophy that respects my femininity and supports an understanding of my body to a philosophy that treats women as if their fertility is a disease. Don’t believe that philosophy exists? Ask a pregnant woman what it’s like to search for a job, or inform her boss she is pregnant. Ask her how her coworkers treat her, especially if she has multiple kids.

This month is a month of new beginnings. I grew up in poverty, and I am quite poor now. I would like to change things so that when we need to fix our car, we can. If an emergency happens we can handle it. I don’t know if it would be wise to own our own home especially now that the American government has made it abundantly clear that we own nothing and our worth lies only in working, but I’d like to rent a larger space with less building violations. I was brainwashed to accept my parents’ views on finances, especially the mantra “follow nobody’s advice” and where are they? Still in debt, still paying for things they do not need, digging more holes. Like NFP I have seen people following Dave Ramsey’s advice…and they are succeeding. I want to see if that can work for my husband and I. Being independent appeals to us. No being dependent on paycheck to paycheck and no being dependent on a dubiously beneficial pill, or IUD, or condom to get us through another year.

I’m excited. I hope anyone reading this can get excited too. Learn about your (or your wife’s) natural gift of fertility, and take charge of your finances. Never say die!

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