Falsehoods, falsehoods everywhere!

Waking up to see my daughter’s smile is the best part of my day. Watching her learn and exposing her to new stuff is 100 times more rewarding than any other thing I have done. I love my little snuggle buddy, with her daddy’s eyes and chipmunk cheeks, and her laser like focus when she’s trying her hardest to get her hands to do what her mind commands.

Funny how having a kid changes the way you look at things. The things people are being taught are terrible. Women are “liberated” by grinding up against some guy while sticking their tongue out because apparently chicken butt, a terrible haircut, and looking like you’re having a seizure made up of equal parts stupid and awkward is “sexy”. “Real men” let a woman simulate sex on stage with them and sing about date rape and NOBODY bats an eye.

Before I had a baby I would have just rolled my eyes. Now I feel a little sick to my stomach, because this is the culture my kids will be raised in. My husband and I are going to have to work our asses off to teach our boys to respect women no matter what, and we are going to have to teach our girls to respect themselves in a culture that sees them as highly advanced male masturbation toys.

Awesome. Just great. Sigh.

Morals aside, I also want to teach my kids, especially my daughters, all about the human body. I specifically want to teach about the reproductive system because it is AWESOME! Unfortunately, there’s a lot of unscientific lies flying around.

For example, apparently some “feminists” believe there is no hymen, and that it can’t be broken. Yes, yes there is a hymen, and without going into an awkward amount of details I personally know that it can be broken. Some women may not have a hymen. Some women do. Some women barely have a hymen, and some women have a hymen that is very thick.

Speaking of the hymen, its also a lie that it’s all the woman’s fault if it hurts during her first few times having sex. As a 25 year old virgin, I googled to see what to expect on my wedding night. When websites weren’t claiming hymens don’t exist, they were claiming hymens only hurt if you aren’t well lubricated, excited, happy, confident, etc. Virgin ladies out in Internet land, your hymen may or may not hurt, or it may hurt a little or a lot. Don’t accept the usual claptrap that its all the frigid woman’s fault (or that the man isn’t a skillful lover) for something your anatomy is designed to do. Mine hurt like a bitch, and trust me I was all those things +100.

Beyond the hymen, have you ever tried doing a search for information about the menstrual cycle? So. Much. Bullshit.

Lies I learned:

-You can get pregnant any time during your cycle.

-You can get pregnant during your period.

-You can’t know when ovulation is, but it usually happens in the 14th day of your cycle.

-(on the same site that said you couldn’t know your ovulation) your period will happen 14 days after ovulation.

-Condoms protect against STD’s.

The actual truth? Continue reading

OMG THIS IS AWESOME

I was going to write about my break up with my parents (and I will soon) but this is just too cool.

I’ve been using an app called Kindara. It’s more in alignment with FAM (fertility awareness method) than with NFP (Natural Family planning) but it is an AWESOME family planning app. The major difference is that FAM allows for condoms, but I just plan on not using condoms anyways. In any case it’s a great app that really helps empower women to know what their body is doing and why.

All I can say is that I am beyond excited. Because of my home study course in NFP and Kindara (not to mention double checking with scientific articles that are peer reviewed) and using some ovulation sticks…

I now not only know what a luteal phase is, I know how long mine currently is. Not only do I know that, but I can predict when my period will be. (Well, I have a period right now but I have a short luteal phase due to breast feeding) I now know when I can get pregnant, and when it’s less likely.

WHY don’t they teach girls this in high school? Or when we hit puberty? My sex Ed classes were a joke, were almost all centered on the almighty penis and the scary boogie man of venereal disease. We had condoms thrown at us luke theyvwere magic wands against STI’s (pro-tip: they’re not magically effective) and were all but ordered to take the pill. Heck, it wasn’t even taught to us that you can only get pregnant a handful of days each month, and that for some women it can be difficult. The luteal phase was glossed over, and all we knew about it was that at some point we would begin menstruating again.

It wasn’t until I was pregnant that I had an understanding of how the uterus works, where it is, and how fertilization occurs. It wasn’t until I was interested in breast feeding that I learned how the breast works.

I was LUCKY that I had a period so regular I could literally set my clock to it. Before I got pregnant, barring extreme stress I could have followed the Rhythm Method. In fact that is what I used to get pregnant!

Even then though I felt a little annoyed I couldn’t pinpoint my ovulation, and had a dim understanding at beat what a luteal phase is and how that affects my cycle and ability to get pregnant. Now I know.

Even if you’re pro-birth control (which I strongly suggest you do research and reconsider that) I encourage anyone out there stumbling on this blog to go and learn about FAM and NFP. There are many methods, and all can bring a greater awareness of your own female body (and for men, it can be interesting to know how your wife or girlfriend works).

I am just beyond excited. I successfully avoided a pregnancy (not that I don’t want more kids but yeesh, lets give the bank account and my body a chance to breathe) I know about when to expect a period even though my cycles are a lot longer than they used to be, and I also know that if I were to try conceiving now it would be difficult due to a shorter luteal phase…which is affected by breast feeding!

My body is no longer some magical boogie woman mystery to me that sends a period when I least want it and magically sprouts a baby when I only kinda sorta know how or why!

This is awesome. Lets hope the real feminists out there promote this more often. I don’t need a damn pill to “cure”me of being a fertile woman. I need knowledge and understanding so I can be as fertile and as womanly as I should be.

You don’t need to be Catholic to like that. Get on it women- we aren’t “mysterious” and “peculiar” as if that means we can’t explain how our own organs work! Lets drag this stuff out into the 21st century, and ditch the idea that women and their reproductive systems are “too complicated” to interpret or know.

PS even though I know that this may not work, when I get a job I will soooo try to time my baby making so that the birth is hopefully around a big holiday. Hhehehee, I shall be sneaky and squeeze out a couple more weeks out of the measly maternity leave American women are given. (Seriously, America… 1-6 weeks max is not enough time, especially for the women who work so hard for peanuts. And quit telling women to be proud of going back to work a day after giving birth. That’s not brag worthy that’s actually dangerous, you sexist idiots.)

Maybe A New Method?

So I am on my first and second month of using the Creighton model of NFP, and so far I’m not a fan. I co-sleep, breast feed, and I’m post partum. Using breast feeding as a control method works only until you have a period, and boy was I pissed to find out that those are already returning. I liked not using tampons or pads, and I am jealous of the women who don’t have them until 12 or more months post partum.

My breast feeding and co sleeping and post partum weirdness makes my mucous wacky, my temps wacky, everything wacky and difficult to interpret. It also makes sex a little more stressful. Don’t get me wrong- I do want another baby. But I’d like to wait at least a year. And both husband and I have crazy high sex drives.

So I bought the books, thinking this should all be easy. It would be, if I were not post partum and were like before I got pregnant. I had a cycle so regular it probably would have actually worked with the rhythm method!

Creighton, after about two months, doesn’t seem to be working well with me. I’m just all over the place, and I have no clue when my next period will be. I would really like to know that, please and thank you.

So the other week, I decided I wanted something other than my own observations to back me up. I’m terrible at science and observations after all. So I picked up a Clear Blue ovulation kit (digital, because I am not wasting my time staring at two lines and second guessing the darkness) and started using it.

I also kept charting my mucous, my cervical position and whether or not the os was open, and my temps, annnnd my internal sensations.

Holy crap, for the first time in my life I believe I have pinpointed where my ovulation was.

My mucous was a bit iffy, but the same day I hit the smiley face my cervix was high, soft, and OPEN! I had wondered if it was open before. I had thought it was open before. NOPE. Now I know what open feels like. Also, I finally got that crampy feeling that I always used to wonder why…turns out that that I likely my ovulation. And as soon as that two day smiley period went away, my cervix got lower, harder, and more closed. I might have an idea when my upcoming period will be.

As a woman, this is intoxicating. It is possible I can start to understand my own cycle.

The Creighton method is nice, but for me it feels like I am driving a car with only one working headlight. I can see enough but I am not very confident. God help me if the four legged monster of doom (aka deer) jumps into the road.

So I did some more research and found out that what I am doing is actually similar to the Marquettte method. I might switch to that. It is more expensive, but…I will pay for less stress and more confidence.

Plus I kinda like peeing on a stick. I’m wierd.

Lol with all this natural stuff I’m doing I may just go crunchy. I have been researching cloth diapers…