Well, I survived Thanksgiving. It was mostly great, with my awesome in laws but dear lord the amount of sanctimommy (and sanctidaddy) reached an all time high. Lets just say that 1) my inlaws think carseats are optional fancy things, so I automatically take their “advice” with a heaping dose of salt and 2) my husband is teaching me the art of one-liners that charitably shut people up.
Blurgh… Apparently parents need to put on a strong armor of “do not give a flying crap” to make it gracefully through the holidays.
Ah well, a blessed Advent to all! Also, Happy Saint Nicholas day tomorrow. Celebrate by giving alms or some chocolate candies and tell stories about how jolly old Saint Nick punched a heretic in the face.
Yes. You can read about that here-> Saint Nicholas Center granted, he was sorry he had lost his temper but this is a great way to show that while the Saints were in Earth they were works in progress like the rest of us.
Which leads me to the point of my post. I’ve got to get a spiritual director. They are hard to find, especially for an oddball like me. I haven’t been searching as well as I should. I’m very afraid of rejection. I also do not want to talk about some things except with a priest.
First, I need to find an orthodox priest. In my area that’s a challenge. When I find that priest, he has to have time, which is also a challenge.
Second, I need to speak with a priest who isn’t shy about the devil, visions, demons, angels and other supernatural things. I’ve had a lot of weird experiences in my life (and no, I’m not mentally ill and have never even smoked pot) that need to be addressed. If what I have experienced is real, and not my imagination, then I need to have the Church helping me along. 2000+ years is greater than a measly 26.
Third, I have to find a priest that is comfortable talking about abusive situations, and marriage (my marriage is not abusive, but my parents were abusive).
That seems a tall order, but I don’t feel comfortable dealing with the spiritual side of things with anyone other than a priest, or maybe a Sister. Often when I’ve gone to confession priests have told me I should seek out counseling…but while therapy has been good they just don’t know how to deal with the spiritual side of my issues. Even if I could find one that is Christian, let alone Catholic, there would still be difficulties that go beyond theological differences.
Seriously, therapists, you need to murder your glitter pooping unicorns. I’ve had so many basically boil their philosophy down to “just lay flatter and be a better doormat for your parents” so I can hope everything will magically get better. I had one therapist who actually told me that cutting off my parents might be psychologically healthy, and she admitted it is rare she ever recommends something like that.
Besides, I’m kind of…over therapy for the most part. Therapy from what I have seen is a lot of self reflection, with added wisdom from a third party. It’s a great thing but at the moment I don’t feel it to be necessary, especially since my spiritual concerns have never been welcomed or understood in a therapy setting.
Ever try explaining to an atheistic/secular therapist what receiving the Eucharist is like? It’s probably all very bizarre to them. I once explained to a Christian Reformed therapist the reason I got so worked up over a liturgical issue. First I had to explain what I meant by liturgy, then I had to explain John 6, then I had to tie it all together with the behavior of some person I knew…it got complicated fast. It would be nice to talk spirituality with someone who could correct me if I’m wrong and have the authority to do so.
So all you followers out there, if you aren’t spam bloggers, have you ever tried spiritual direction? Did it go well? Was it hard to find a director? In short, share your experience in the comments.
Sassafrass Mami 